He uses pillows to masturbate.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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