Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
