talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize