im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
