Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
