Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
