You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize