That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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