it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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