Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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