So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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