I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have fence marks all over my body
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
