Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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