I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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