So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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