No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize