Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
pop tarts are not kleenex
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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