trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
