i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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