craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
