so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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