there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We need a shit load of segways right now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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