Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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