you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
