yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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