a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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