Yo dont text me then not text me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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