You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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