Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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