Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
