I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
