Swine flu. Run for my life!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
