Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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