He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The uberlube is also flammable
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
send nudes
from the living room?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize