I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's blow job season.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
