I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
