What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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