bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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