I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize