I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
