Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
