why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
