I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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