...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
