I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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