So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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