I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
