So drunk, too bad you don't want this
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
