She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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