Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
