Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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