That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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