how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize