Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
