just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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