Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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