My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
