please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
