Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
