Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize