i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
