I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
